I have been in a constant state of worry for three weeks now. And its not only the forever changes in policy surrounding COVID or the added nursing responsibilities. It is the worry I wont be able to manage the demands of my kids needs.
I have their APSEA Teachers sending 95 page documents I dont have time to read. Im receiving emails from Georgias grade 1 teacher with the online learning plans for her to finish grade one. I am receiving packages in the mail from Avrys speech therapist. And I am grateful. All these professionals going the extra mile for my kids. I thank them. But I would be lying if I said I wasnt worried I wont be able to find the time to be the mother they need me to be.
I am overwhelmed.
I am lacking patience.
I am stretched thin from my nursing responsibilities.
So instead of letting my hair turn gray, today I took control of my feelings. I cleaned off the messy “homework station”. I organized all the activities. I did one speech activity with Avry. And played a “how to tell time” game with Georgia. That is it for tonight. This has to be enough for now. One activity a day.
I cannot control what I cannot control. Sometimes things are just what they are. I am a nurse lead in a health centre during a pandemic. I am working hard. I am tired– exhausted really. I cant be the homeschooling mom I aspire to be.
But I will make sure my kids are loved, read to, fed well and have brain exercise everyday. This just has to be enough right now.
One stressed out Mommy.